I haven't posted for a while. I feel like I have nothing to say but we will see what comes out with a little typing. I have been having a lot of "flash" memories. These memories are brief and frequent. I feel like everything reminds me of Eric or our life together. It is almost like I have to categorize it all or something. It is random, unexpected and sometimes annoying. I want it to be something that I can turn on and off but that is unrealistic. I think about Eric's death, funeral, his life, when we met, what he taught me, how he was with the kids, our plans, our struggles, our friendship, our life. It isn't easy living with one foot in the present and the other foot in the past but I guess this is part of the process.

I was thinking about Eric yesterday as we read Luke 21:5-36. Jesus was speaking to his disciples after he had ressurected from the dead. He was telling them about the end times...how terrible things will get but then he will return. Eric always said that he wasn't going to die...he would get raptured out. He would say this with a big goofy grin on his face and I loved it. I feel a little like he got raptured out but not in the biblical sense. I feel like he was choosen to go home. He didn't suffer in the way that we think of with death...he had peace. He comforted those around him as he was passing from this world into his eternal home. He sang songs to his Jesus as he was being ushered into glory. He got exactly what he joked about...a ticket out of here before the world really fell apart. I don't know when Christ will return and that it will be a glorious event. Someday all believers will go home but until then our mission is to reach those who haven't heard the wonders of the gospel message. God died for us (sinners) so that we could have an intimate and transforming relationship with him. We get to walk with the God of this universe! That is pretty amazing. God is so gracious that he would provide a way for us to be with him AND that he would take the time to change us for our good while we are here so that we can be used to draw others come to God as well.

Quick update: We went to Upper Michigan for the week. It is so beautiful up there that I wish everyone could make it up there at least once in their lifetime. We visited all of our favorite spots: my mom's old house, my dad's college, our favorite restaurant, our favorite merchantile, and we spent lots of time outside enjoying God's amazing creation! We camped a little and stayed in a hotel a little. We had a nice relaxing time and THAT was great. I did miss my computer and phone reception...I guess that I am turning into a city girl after all. This kids are doing okay. Lydia is so cute and funny. Micah is too but he is having a harder time. He is having bad dreams at night and he tells me on a regular basis that he doesn't want me to leave him-ever. I definitely need wisdom as I deal with my kids and their grief. Hope to write soon...maybe I could get some pictures up of the kids! (Dare to dream!)