Vivid

Today I was outside with my son. We were digging, throwing, hitting the ball and hanging out. I sat down after a while and I was taking in the scenery. My parents live on the lake and it is beautiful. I don't think that I could be living in a better place right now. It is so peaceful here and there is much comfort in that. Anyway, as I was sitting there and I was struck with how vivid creation is. It is so vibrant and alive. I had a true moment of rest in the beauty of what God has made. God is such a wonderful creator. The lake has so much LIFE going on and usually I am too busy to notice. I think that Eric's death has brought a new awareness of life. If feel a more urgent need to live life, enjoy life and not waste my life. I am no longer in denial that life can be over at any time. I no longer assume that I will live until I am an elderly woman. That has changed everything. What am I doing today that matters? What do my kids need? How do I take the next step today-whatever that happens to be for today. These are the things that I think about when I am in the moment instead of stuck on saddness or business. I am glad that I had a still moment.