Tuesday, March 16, 2010

STRESS

I am with my best friend and her kids and I feel stress. I feel stress everywhere-all of the time. It is in my stressed out moments that I see my grief. I feel 'okay' except for having a short tolerance for any shenanigans. That makes me feel frustrated because it proves to me that live is not normal and that I have to change and adapt.

People ask how I am doing and sometimes I just want to yell at them. I would love to say 'leave me alone...my husband JUST died! How do you THINK that I am doing?' I know that they are trying to show care to me and so I bite my tongue and accept their care and love for me and my family. I hope that this doesn't make anyone paranoid to ask, but I just wish that I wasn't in this place to start with.

I sat in Walgreens yesterday uploading pictures for printing so that I could use them for scrapbooking. I felt so alone. I HATE that. I am not a cripple. Being single is not a curse and I do not want to start pitying myself. How do you feel sad for a loss without feeling sorry for yourself? I just feel so tired, sad and most of all STRESSED today.

1 comment:

johnb said...

I HATE STRESS TOO, IT MUST OF BEEN HARD TO BE IN POLK CITY. ITHOUGHT YOU WERE GONE STILL WENT I RUSHED UP THE PICS. SORRY TO JUMP IN
LOVE IN CHRIST JOHN B.