Dear Eric

Dear Eric-
I love you and I always will. I want you to know that I will love other people and someday I may love and marry a man but I promise to find a godly man and a man that loves our kids. You taught me how to live. I was so bound up in fear, sin and religiousness. I was afraid of the responsiblities of being a grown-up. You were patient with me while I fought for healthiness. You were loving as you helped me get through my fears. You reassured me that I could be grown without falling on my face. You smiled in the face of adversity and said, "it is going to be alright Sar." You were my rock for many years. You showed me the way through religiousity to real relationship with God. I was so confused about how to love God without working so very hard and you showed me how God pursued me and loved me. I knew that I didn't have to do things right to get God's attention-he already graciously gave me all that I needed to be with him-all I had to do was ask. Your example of living in grace changed my life. You changed my life. I felt like I wasn't alive and you helped me wake up. I am sorry that I was selfish. I am sorry that I didn't work on issues earlier. I am sorry that I couldn't support you more this last year. If I could have taken the pain away I would have. If I could have talked to you after the accident I would have. If I could have been a better wife I would have. I promise not to live in the past. I promise not to be broken forever. I will always miss you but I promise not to get stuck. I promise to teach the kids about God the best that I can. I wish you were here but I know that you can't so I have to continue to say goodbye-see you again in heaven.