Monday, May 17, 2010

New Day and all I need is Him

The title of this post is where my hearts cry is today. I had a hard week last week. I miss Eric so much and memories of him are all around me-flooding my mind and heart. I feel overwhelmed by the task of raising two young children but I am praying for a double portion of wisdom, patience, strength and anything else that a parent needs. One of my pastors lost his wife in a car accident while his kids were young and he has been a great help. He reminded me that I could be praying for the things that I need, after all God allowed this to happen and He knows that I will need more help in this area. The amazing thing about God is that he provides for us in ALL ways. Philippians 4:19 states, "And my God will meet all your needs according to his glorious riches in Christ Jesus." Psalm 72:12-13 says, "For he will deliver the needy who cry out, the afflicted who have no one to help. He will take pity on the weak and the needy and save the needy from death." Not only did Jesus save us from eternal death but he is ready, willing and able to supply for all our needs for his glory. I feel great need lately which is a shame because I now see how very needy I have always been and how very self-sufficient I try to be. How do we offer all of our lives to Christ? How do we go deeper still? How do we know in our hearts how much we need him? I think that we start by accepting his gift of forgiveness and eternal life. The first step is realizing that you can't get to heaven on your own 'good' life but you NEED Jesus' perfect life and offering. The next step is to never take that forgiveness for granted. We can do this by staying in communion with God. If our hearts remain tender to God we will hear and obey Him. I tend to get 'busy'. I walk around like I don't have time for God. What we are really saying is screw you God, I got this. A guy in my singles group said the other day that we have to fight for out time with God and I agree. Once I took the mindset of a soldier this makes sense. I have to fight against my flesh, my pride and my self-suffiency. I have to fight to bring these things to God and submit them to his will. It is a choice to do this but thankfully God is so gracious, when you bring them to him he lightens your load and helps lead you. That is what he means by his "yoke being easy and his burden is light" (Matthew 11:30). I so need God. I need all that he offers. I need him and him alone. When I feel despair and saddness I am brought back to the place of reminder that all I need is Christ. I will miss Eric. I will mourn the loss of my husband, my BEST friend, my children's father, my future life with him but not at the expense of forgetting who my life belongs to and who provides for all I truly need. I do not mourn for what happened to Eric. He is with his Father in heaven and he loved Jesus with all his heart. Eric is home and someday I will be too. I hope that you are there as well. God bless.

1 comment:

Helene Bergren said...

Well said, Sarah. It's a blessing that you're letting all of us in on this journey you are on. It is very mature of you.
Hugs,
Helene