Submission

I had to submit myself to God today. I hadn't realized that I was holding onto the idea of marriage so hard. I found some marriage books the other day and I couldn't bear to give them to a young engaged couple. I wanted to keep them, but for what purpose? I am not married and I am not getting married any time soon. There I sat last night feeling every emotion under the sun and trying to rationalize why it was okay to hang onto these books. This morning I woke up and I knew that God was saying that it was time to let go. It is hard to let go of things. It is hard to admit that you are not in control and that that is a GOOD thing. I have no ability to wish marriage into existence only God can bring a husband. I had to wrestle with the idea that I am single and could be for the rest of my life. I had to submit my will to Gods and that was painful...it is painful. I don't want to let go of my desires and put them in God's hands but that is exactly where they belong. I am single. I am okay. I am well taken care of by my Father in Heaven. Pray that I can continue to submit my will to God's and that I will have the courage to walk it out in obedience.